A Response to my 13 Year Old Self: Post

 Wow, what an inventive title..

"For some reason life has become stressful. Even the thought of sleeping is stressful."

You're counting down the seconds until you die in your head all the time. Of course that's stressful.

"Can I wake up on time for school?"

You were so repetitively late that by the last day of school, everyone gathered to celebrate "our last morning ritual *sniff*" and all you had to say was "wait, we had a morning ritual?"

You... don't fix it.. 

"Can I go to bed at the right time and not stay up for three hours staring at the ceiling? Will today be the day I wake up on time and not feel like crap?"

I have no clue why our insomnia changed. I sleep pretty normally now. Perhaps a little too much. Only like 10 hours. Is that bad?

"When do I get my alarm clock working?"

Oh.. right..that. Um...

"At what time do I have to wake up to feel like there are enough hours in the day?"

It's on a randomizer. Most days you wake up refreshed and then get panicked that you've wasted your life and try to fix it all, but by then it's like 11:30 and the day is over. Rinse and repeat

"When will people stop telling me to go to bed earlier as if it's an easy task?"

When you actually stop going to bed super late

"WHEN WILL I STOP BEING STRESSED ABOUT SLEEPING?"

IT JUST KINDA HAPPENS. I WISH I COULD TELL YOU HOW I DID IT, BUT I HONESTLY CAN'T REMEMBER. WHY ARE WE YELLING?!

"I want to do something fun other than just spending my life on the computer."

 Yeaaahhh, uh.. about that...

"I try to think of fun things but nothing interests me. I want to travel the world, save lives, find lost treasure, fight dragons, keep dragons as pets. I read too many books, watch too many movies. I'm not a hero, I'm a girl in middle school who likes to play video games."

Now, you're a girl in college who watches too many TV shows and likes to play video games.

"I feel like wearing whatever is in the back of my closet no longer suits me. I want to change my look."

You wear exclusively solid-color t-shirts and jeans now. For every occasion.. Sometimes you wear a jacket or a hoodie and..  I'm still the same person, aren't I? Oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"I look scary in makeup,"

Still true

"I am too lazy to try "10 second hairstyles for lazy girls" because you need the new "Tresemme super-hair-holder" or something, and I hate shopping.Grrr."

I just want the even lazier route and got a clothing subscription box. And you just switch between a half-up bun and having your hair down, no (INSERT BRAND NAME) needed.

"I feel as though I am empty sad confused irritated stressed a teenager I don't know."

Maybe. But all of those things are impermanent. Doesn't make them mean less, but it does change